What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why am I more attracted to black men?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why do Democrats never produce a good argument for why Trump was a bad president?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Why do very skinny girls get more male attention if it is true that men like curves?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How would you respond to Rep. Nancy Mace's claim that the GOP platform is more in line with what the American people want compared to the left?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What is the experience of wearing a school uniform every day? Do people typically get used to it or dislike it?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What is the Replika app, and how does it work?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

TEXT:

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why do guys on dating apps often just first message "hey" or "hey how are you" instead of being more creative and unique? How do they think being a copycat will stand out?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What do you think of the Black history lessons in the PBS documentary about jazz pianist-singer Hazel Scott?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Do people of NYC drive around Central Park all the time? Is there any subway tunnel to cross the park quickly? Is it annoying for people and does it cause traffic?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why is fitness important?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I like this guy and his personality is AMAZING. He’s everything I want EXCEPT I’m not 100% attracted to him. I’ve dated some really hot guys and I’m wondering if that’s ruined dating for me? What do I do?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!